The Amateur Financier

The day after Valentine’s Day, there are really only two types of guys in the United States (and anywhere else that puts such a huge focus on Valentine’s Day as the romantic be-all and end-all of the year): the type who managed to come up with a good, thoughtful, clever present for their significant other, and the type who couldn’t, wouldn’t, or just plain didn’t.  The latter type are easy to spot today, looking as if they had to sleep out in the dog house (mostly figuratively, although occasionally literally).  The former group are also pretty easy to spot, usually with a big smile on their face that doesn’t go away the entire day.

I bought my fiancee a painting, so I managed to end up in that first group.

But I didn’t write this article to gloat about my fine present choosing abilities (well, not entirely). No, I wrote this piece to remind you of one of the best things about Valentine’s Day, or any holiday, really: the after the holiday sales. Yes, once it’s February 15th, everything (or almost everything) for the Valentine’s Day holiday will go on sale, giving those of you who didn’t buy anything for yesterday an opportunity to make up for it by stocking up now. I’m not saying your significant other will be completely willing to forgive you if you give gifts to her (or him; we guys like gifts, too) now, but at the very least, it could show that you aren’t a completely unromantic soul. Add in the savings you can achieve through After-Valentine’s Day sales, and you might even be able to convince your honey that this was your plan all along, to wait until after the day itself in order to make your money go further.

Sound like the sort of thing that can get you out of the dog house, or simply enable you to show more of your love this (slightly belated) Valentine’s Day? Well, read on, for some thoughts on what will, and what won’t, be on sale in the next few weeks.

Candy: Let’s face it, with the possible exception of flowers (particularly those red roses), there is no more popular Valentine’s gift than candy, usually chocolates, almost always loaded into a heart-shaped container with a message of love on the front. There’s also few gifts that stores are more in a hurry to get off the shelves; chocolates don’t last forever, and with the holiday passed, the prices will drop like a stone. Expect to see widespread 50% savings today, with discounts of 70%, 80%, or even 90% possible over the next few weeks. Assuming your love likes chocolates, and it’s the rare person who doesn’t, coming home with a sackful of their favorites can be a real relationship saver, particularly if you can convince your honey that saving money and getting more cocoa for your buck was your plan all along.

Flowers: As mentioned above, flowers are one of the most popular gifts for V-Day, and as such, will be in high supply at many retailers. Also like our candy above, there will be a decided push by said retailers to get rid of said flowers before they wilt. Your window to buy flowers while they are still healthy enough to be put on display at home is fairly small; unlike with candy, you won’t see stores still trying to get rid of them three weeks from now. But, if you head to the store as soon as possible, you can likely walk home with a huge bouquet or two, usually at a substantial discount.

Stuffed Animals/Toys: You might not see as big a drop in the prices for these; toys generally don’t expire, after all, and a stuffed bear holding a heart-shaped plushie that says ‘I Love You’ could be sold throughout the year, not just at Valentine’s. Still, with the demand for such stuffed animals at a trough following the huge peak yesterday, expect more than a few sales, enabling you to get a new stuffed friend for your beloved.

Cards: Alright, this one is less useful to those who have missed the V-Day gift-giving season and want to make up for it, and more useful for, say, the parents of children who distribute cards to classmates on Valentine’s. Once the calendar reads February 15th, all those superhero, cartoon character, and television star cards that are so popular for the elementary age bunch will go on sale, allowing you to stock up for next year. (It might not be a bad idea for those of us who are a bit older to buy an extra card or two, as well, so you won’t have to pay full price for the card next year.)

Now, with all that said, there are plenty of things promoted as good Valentine’s Day presents by various organizations that will NOT be significantly cheaper today than they were yesterday. These include jewelry (alas, there’s not nearly the rush by jewelers to get rid of their inventory as there is by, say, florists), wine (while the bubbly is a nice treat on Valentine’s, don’t expect to get French’s finest today at a steep discount), and neckties (hey, it’s not only us guys who are expected to give gifts on V-Day; although, if this is the best idea you can come up with, ladies, you might want to think a bit further). If you want to go for any of these options, feel free, although you might be best served waiting for a sale and buying later in the year.

There you have it, some thoughts on how to save on this St. Faustus of Glanfeuil Day, and possibly make up any shortcomings from yesterday in the process. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some post-Valentine’s Day cuddling to do…

Once upon a time (about two years ago), I shared some tips for the last minute shopper to get their holiday gift giving covered.  They were, I’m pleased to say, a huge hit, helping dozens, if not hundreds or even thousands, of last-minute shoppers to keep their gift exchange partners happy and help to fill up the space beneath the Christmas tree.  (Or barring that possibility, helping them to have a serious head injury so as to allow them to dodge the whole Christmas season altogether.)

But it’s been so long since I put that up, there’s sure to have been some updates to how the smart consumer covers their last-minute gift-giving (besides, of course, buying presents early enough to avoid having to do last minute gift-giving in the first place; that’s just crazy talk).  Let’s take a look at some other possibilities for the gift-giver who has waited until the last possible minute:

1. Money: Always a classic; there’s a fair chance you have some in your wallet at this very moment.  (Unless, of course, you’re just getting back from some other Christmas shopping).  It’s inexpensive, highly flexible, and generally appreciated by nearly everyone.  Now, it does tend to send a bit of a strong message (namely, “I did not have any idea of what to get you for a gift, so here’s some cash”), but that’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a decent card.  If you want something more personal, you can try…

Yes, I like to use this Money Gift picture; it's very fitting for this time of year.

2. Gift Cards: The standard for anyone who wants to give something a bit more personalized than cash, but still is at a loss about what to give to their chosen recipient (not always the gift-giver’s fault, of course; if I had a dollar for everyone in my family who has been tight-lipped about possible gift ideas, I’d be able to buy quite a few more gifts for everyone).  Of course, being more personalized can be troublesome; it’s possible to buy a gift card to somewhere your recipient doesn’t ever shop or want to shop.  It’s also possible to end up with a gift card that’s pretty well worthless, as anyone still holding Circuit City or Borders gift cards can tell you.

3. A Time Machine: Alright, it’s a little early to pick up one of these.  (Some spoil-sports will argue that it is impossible; if time machines exist, they say, we would have seen people who were from the future coming back to our time.   I say they’re just trying to spoil our fun; haven’t they heard of cloaking devices or police boxes?)  But still, it would make a wicked present, or you could use it to get something for your recipient from their past.  Or use it to become the king of a past time period; either method is fine, really.

4. Coal: Have someone naughty on your list?  Pull a Santa and give them some coal the next time they start acting up.  Besides helping to reinforce some sense of appropriate punishment, you’ll also be able to help out the coal industry.  Why should the fat man in red have all the fun, after all?  Just be aware that not everyone will be amused, and that coal can be a bit on the expensive side.

5. A Thoughtful, Insightful Gift That Shows a Deep Understanding of the Recipient and Adequate Realization of What They Both Want and Need, An Even Deeper Grasp of Their Psyche Than They, Themselves, Possess, a Gift That Is Sure to Leave a Deep Impression on Them Years, Even Decades, Later: You don’t have time for that kind of thing; let’s get back to that ‘money’ idea.

Alright, that’s plenty of gift ideas for now.  Here’s hoping everyone has a good Christmas, and has already finished their shopping (I know I have no desire to go to stores now, with all the gift shoppers in a near frenzy).  Here’s also hoping you came up with lots of thoughtful gift ideas, in spite of my best efforts to play with your minds!

Well, it is the Fourth of July once again.  For those of you outside the US, there’s probably not much to distinguish today from any other Monday in the summer: hot (or cold, for those of you in the Southern Hemisphere) and filled with work, commutes, and all the normal fun of a Monday.

For those of us in the United States, though, it’s the time of year when we take a day off, consider all the effort and consideration that went into creating this great nation, and set off some fireworks.  Mostly the fireworks, though.

That’s why, on this day of celebration, I have just one reminder to share with my fellow Americans (man, it makes me feel presidential just writing that): Don’t Blow Yourself (Or Any Part of Yourself) Up Today.  Even beyond the obvious pain (and, if your family is anything like mine, probable humiliation and mockery), there’s the potential cost of going to the hospital to get various parts of your body repaired or replaced.  Plus, you can avoid getting saddled with an embarrassing nickname like ‘Stumpy’ or ‘Idiot Who Blew Up His Hand With A Firework’ (some nicknames are more creative than others).

Fireworks: Fun to Watch, Not So Fun to Have Blow Up In Your Face

If you can do this, you should have a great Fourth of July.  Here’s hoping you have a great holiday, spend plenty of time with friends and family, and avoid any deforming injuries during your celebration.  Enjoy the holiday!

(And don’t worry, once the holiday is over, I’ll be back to my normal personal finance advice dispensing ways, as opposed to general safety advice.  I just wanted to have a little Fourth of July fun, and maybe get people to think twice about shooting off so dang many fireworks.  Enjoy the holiday!)

You night have heard, but we shouldn’t be here, or at least, we shouldn’t be enjoying ourselves quite so much.  Yes, apparently this past weekend (May 21, 2011, at 6 p.m. your local time, to be exact) the Rapture was supposed to come and take the faithful up to heaven, leaving the rest of us here to suffer the horrors of Armageddon.  (I’m including myself in the, to borrow a phrase,  ‘Left Behind’ group; while I try to lead a good life, I wouldn’t put money on me being amongst the select and chosen few.)

Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news about that whole event.  The good news is that the Apocalypse apparently isn’t here yet; the whole production seems to be a mistake by the pastor in charge. That’s probably a good thing; I don’t know about you, but I’ve got plenty I’d like to do before the final curtain falls on the planet and our species.

But there’s bad news to be had as well; at some point, the world is likely to end.  My informal survey (that is, things I’ve heard about but don’t feel like formally researching) indicates that the most likely date for the next end of the world is December 21, 2012, when I guess the Mayan calendar ends (and apparently the Mayans were able to pinpoint exactly when this whole ‘time’ thing would cease to exist, as well), although I’ve heard other dates being tossed around, from the 70th anniversary of the founding of Israel to several dates that Nostradamus threw out there.  (Yes, Nostradamus gave multiple dates for the end of the world; no, I don’t know how that would work.)

So, what should you do when it comes time for the world to end, for reals-ies this time?  How can you make sure that you make the most of your last few hours, while ensuring that you aren’t caught unawares if, just by chance, the world DOESN’T end when you think it will?  (I know, I know, what are the chances of that happening (again), but humor me here.)  Here’s a few thoughts on what to do come the (next) end of the world:

Dos and Don’ts for End of the Planet Preparations

DO Live a Good Life: There’s plenty of disagreement about just what the correct religion is (and whether any religion is correct), but there is generally an agreement on how to be a good person.  Treat others the way you would like to be treated, don’t lie, cheat, steal, murder, or otherwise abuse other people, and try to take any abuse you suffer without vengeance or anger at your abusers, and you should come out alright.

DON’T Try to Convert At the Last Minute: I don’t claim to speak for God, but I’m guessing He’s able to tell the difference between sincere changes in faith and ‘I’m doing this to get out of this (literal) heck-hole’ conversions.  The latter probably don’t get you too much credit.  Also, while death bed conversions are probably better than nothing, trying to game the system by living an unholy life and converting at the last minute is quite likely to backfire on you; there’s that whole ‘not knowing when you’ll die’ thing to contend with, after all.

DO Live Life to the Fullest…: One of the advantages (if you can call it that) of impending doom is that it reminds us of everything we want to do in life, and how little some of us have actually done towards finishing that list.  So, regardless of whether there is a threat of Apocalypse, try to live a full life and take advantage of all the world has to offer (and the fact that we live in a time and place when traveling the world and experiencing its many cultures and wonders is not only considered normal, but is highly encouraged).

…But DON’T Count on the Apocalypse to Wipe Out Your Debts: That said, don’t spend December 20, 2012 (or the days before the next expected end of the world) running up the bill on your credit card.  It might seem that you’re taking advantage of the system, but if your plan to deal with the bill is to be Raptured during the grace period, maybe you want to reconsider, before you end up stuck with a huge bill you need to pay.  The Bauer Family saw this happen to them, and you don’t want the same thing to happen to you.

DO Enjoy Your Life: I’ve been writing most of this article tongue-in-cheek (as you might have guessed, although I tend to write like that pretty frequently), but if there’s one thing to take away from this whole story, it should probably be the importance of taking advantage of the time we have available.  If you live well and fully your entire life, even the end of the world becomes something you can face with a smile, knowing you had a good run.  So, regardless of when the end comes (if it even will during our lifetimes), here’s hoping you have lived a good life to that point.

What will you be doing during the (next) Apocalypse?